The Advice is Wrong: Christmas Edition

Rachel Morrell, Staff Writer

“In my neighborhood, there is a fierce competition between the residents to see who can put up the most Christmas lights. What can I do to step up my game?” ~hollydayz4life 

During the holiday season, houses and buildings all over the country hang their Christmas lights and decorations — not for the purpose of “spreading Christmas cheer,” but to one-up their neighbors and compare who can put up the most lights. Why would anyone spend the time untangling yards upon yards of twinkling lights just to make their home look pretty? In my opinion, if you don’t go all-out with your Christmas decorations, it’s a waste of time and money. Here are some ideas to make your home visible from space:

Go to your local hardware store and buy all of the Christmas lights possible. Don’t waste your time by going through the different options or find lights that suit your “theme.” Make sure to grab some extra extension cords and a staple gun.

Instead of wrapping your lights around the trees in your front yard or lining them up on the edge of your roof, make the world’s longest string of holiday lights by connecting all of the separate sets of lights together. Plug in an extension cord to the nearest outlet and start wrapping the lights from the base of your home to the top. If you’re concerned about opening your front door, don’t be! Not being able to leave your home due to the extravagant amount of lights wrapped around your front porch will pay off. 

If you can’t make a long string of lights, plug in as many power strips and extension cords as possible to light up your house. Fire and electrical safety regulations are only suggestions, and no one ever gets hurt because of a few sparks. 

For extra bonus points, buy at least four of the largest blow-up decorations possible and place them on your roof. This will be sure to catch the eye of your neighbors. Your house should look like the scene from How the Grinch Stole Christmas when he forgot which homes he took the decorations from and put them all back up in one place. 

Lastly, keep the decorations lit up 24/7. You will know you’ve succeeded when the neighbors complain about not getting enough sleep due to the radiant light streaming from your home. Happy Holidays!