Thanksgiving: a time for family, good food, and some of the most scorching arguments of the year shouted over mashed potatoes and gravy. Thanksgiving is wonderful, but it’s stressful, so we here at Protips have compiled some of the tricks of the trade to help you survive turkey day.

Protip 1: Have your answers straight.

Have you picked a college yet? Have a date for prom? Who are you dating now? Are you sure you want to do that as your career? These questions, and many, many others, are inevitably going to be asked before, during, and after Thanksgiving dinner, so make sure you’re prepared not only for how to respond, but who you’ll be responding to. Acceptable answers include, but are not limited to, “No, Great Aunt Meredith, I have not been dating recently because I’m been so focused on (insert college here) to pursue (insert job title here) which will be beneficial to be because of (insert something creative here).” Answers and structure of the response  may vary, but the concept remains the same. It’s just like writing an English Essay.

Protip 2: Get up early.

Thanksgiving dinner may start at six, but cooking starts at 10am, preparations start at 8am, wake up is at 7 am, and that means you should be awake by 6:15am. Seriously. Whatever time your family tells you to wake up by, you need to be up at least a half an hour earlier because whatever time you do wake up at will be too late in the eyes of whoever is doing the cooking. If you’re dressed and ready, it will put everyone in a better mood. You will even get a head start on the unavoidable, last-minute grocery shopping you will be sent out to do. (If you get to the store before 10, you might even make it back in time for Thanksgiving dinner).

Protip 3: Eat slowly.

Contrary to popular belief, it is not the tryptophan in turkey that makes you tired (there isn’t enough in it to cause an effect) but the sheer volume of food you take in that leaves you napping on the couch. Take in your Thanksgiving feast slowly, savoring every bite while staggering how much you eat, and you might be able to stay awake to hear the end of your second cousin’s wife’s story about how she finally found her car keys.

Protip 4: No politics. Ever.

The hot-button issue of every Thanksgiving this year is going to be the 2018 election and, with an extremely liberal uncle, conservative grandfather, and your third cousin’s long-forgotten, excommunicated husband a member of the Green Party, your great-grandmother’s cranberry sauce is liable to end up thrown against the walls if an argument breaks out. And no matter what side of the political spectrum you fall on, nobody wants to see their great-grandmother cry. So if the topic of politics comes up, a few key words and phrases can distract everyone from the blood fest. A simple, “Hey Uncle Bob, how was your hunting trip?” or “Hey Great-Grandpa Sam, tell us more about what it was like when you were my age?” should suffice for several hours of distraction.

Protip 5: Plan out your Black Friday.

These days, Thanksgiving isn’t the most exciting part of the holiday weekend. What is? 50% off the entire store at Hollister. Black Friday is the day when most people get their holiday shopping done and deals are everywhere. If you dare to venture out on Black Friday, map out every store you need to go to before you go, every gift you need to get at that store in timed increments and, if you can, make sure to check out the store a day or two beforehand to find out where everything is. Sound excessive? It is. But you’ll thank me when you wrestle the last Batman toaster out of the hands of a middle-aged soccer mom and make your cousin’s Christmas.

And finally, Proptip 6: Be thankful.

Family can be trying, even more so during the holidays. But the next time you want to chuck the turkey out the window because no less than seven people have asked about your love life, just remember that family is family. You’ve made it another year, to another Thanksgiving. Despite every test, every fight with your friends, and every cringe-worthy family moment, you’ve made it another year. And that is something to be thankful for.