When we were little, my sister cut her hair really, really short. It was awful, so she had to go a hair stylist to get it fixed. After that, she never cut her own hair again. As a kid, I never had the experience of doing that to myself. I’m now 16, almost 17, and I have, finally, done it. At 4 a.m. on January 12th, I cut my own hair.

I’ve shaved my head before, but I wasn’t actually the one to do it– my mom and dad were. This time, however, it was just me, and I truly believe that cutting my own hair is one of the most freeing things I have ever done. It feels as though I am a new person, but I know that’s not true because my old problems decided to stay attached to me. Dang.

“You’re never going to get a boyfriend with that hair,” explained my grandpa.

Even though I don’t like guys, his hurtful comment immediately made me feel insecure about the cut. I try not to care about what others think about my hair because I like the way it looks, but it still got to me. I tried to shake it off, so I went to go show my uncle.

“You should’ve just shaved it all off,” my uncle said.

That hurt more. Obviously, I don’t just intend to complain about my family, but their comments are important to note. Both made me feel insecure and unsure about this thing that grows on my head and the way I decided to cut it. I thought I looked pretty cool, but, in their eyes, it looks ugly. Is it because it’s not long, flowing, and silky smooth?

Girls and women are taught, starting at a young age, that long hair is beautiful and that if you are a girl, you need to have long hair. Sure, you have a pretty face and wonderful personality, but your hair isn’t the way we think it should be, so we disregard you. Because it’s strange and ugly, you’re ultimately like that all around, and you’re never going to get a partner, job, or be happy. I have spoken with friends and strangers that have admitted they don’t want to do anything to their own hair, even if they really, really desire to do so because of how insecure they are about it. It’s ridiculous how society can make someone feel so awful about something that grows on their body.

I used to be trapped in that kind of insecurity. All through 9th grade and part of 10th grade, I would shave the peach fuzz on my top lip because it’s dark and very apparent. Now that I think back on it, it seems so dumb to me, but back then it made me ugly and gross; it all made sense to me as to why I would try to get rid of it. It made me feel disgusting. I felt like if I had that peach fuzz showing at all, I just wasn’t worth anything. Saying that sounds so dumb in hindsight. My value as a person shouldn’t be based on what my hair looks like or where it grows, and, luckily, I was able to get out of that state of thinking. However, some people aren’t able to get out at this point in our life, and the insecurities just keep building up until there’s very little that can be done.

I know I’m just talking about hair, but for a lot of people, their hair is everything. It’s important to them, and how it’s seen is also very important. All hair is beautiful, and people really need to start teaching the young that. I don’t want them to fall into a pit of insecurity too.

Recently, I cut my own hair, and, like I said before, I believe it’s one of the most freeing things that I have ever done. Holding the scissors against my hair and hearing the snipping felt so empowering. Whatever insecurities I had started to build up about it were snipped away, and I definitely intend on doing it again. I think everyone should at least try cutting their own hair at some point in their life too because of the liberating feeling. It doesn’t have to be something drastic, though; it could just be a simple trim, if that’s all you’re comfortable with for right now.

Yes, the things my grandpa and uncle said hurt, but I love my haircut and don’t intend on tripping back into a pit of insecurities.