I remember setting up my first Instagram account. It was just before sixth grade. It had an indescribably awful username accompanied with over-filtered photos of just about everything on the typical sixth-grader’s mind, from photos of my friends to pictures of the books I loved. As I grew older, my account changed alongside me.

Our presence on social media attempts to reflect our best selves, as we (and I deeply include myself in this) take forever to choose the best angles and the best captions to portray ourselves in the way we want to. And it’s certainly not a bad thing. In every situation, from job interviews to college admissions to first dates, we aim to display the best parts of ourselves. So, why shouldn’t our social media reflect that?

People often point to the rise of the “Instagram influencer” as a hallmark of the social media illness. Growing up in a world surrounded by an abundance of perfectly conjured images and heavily edited people makes for tough middle school years. And I won’t lie: I’ve been susceptible to the ways that social media can make you feel small. But I’ve also had experiences where social media has had an enormously positive impact upon my life.

In the past several months, many seniors have been scouring Facebook to find a roommate and meet people going to the same college. They may start on Facebook but eventually follow these people on Instagram and connect with them on Snapchat. These are utilities that students five or ten years ago would never have been able to take advantage of, and they allow us to connect with one another on a fairly intimate basis.

I speak about intimacy because that’s exactly what social media aims to replicate. The interactions we have with people feel real because they, well, are. The likes we get, the comments we receive, it all adds up to this feeling that we’re interacting with people on a personal level when we truly aren’t. Double tapping on someone’s photo and commenting does not at all resemble a conversation I have with a friend, but somehow it all feels the same. And that’s where the problem lies.

For so many people (I wholeheartedly include myself in this), social media becomes an addiction because of the human connection we seem to gain from it. Again, it’s easy to hit a button, scroll, and instantly feel like you’ve interacted with people. That’s something I certainly want to change throughout the next couple years.

As much as I grapple with and espouse the idea that social media has its negative side, I can’t help but acknowledge that it has proved itself incredibly beneficial and even necessary at times. Without it, I would never have been able to explore the people going to the same college as I next year or even keep up with old friends. It provides an outlet to share my own memories and a public storage space for pictures I never want to forget.

In this sense, there’s also a permanency to it all. Everything you post, whether you take it down or keep it up, can be traced back to you in some form or another. Certain celebrities have fallen victim to their old tweets, and we may have even found some cringe-worthy posts from our first days on social media. While it can be nice to look back on your former self and revel in your growth, the internet lends itself to the idea that people don’t change. Who you are five years ago may as well be the person you are now because you’re linked to the same account. And, that’s simply not how life works. We change, evolve, grow into better people each and every day, thus the notion of a permanent existence online can seem daunting. My eleven-year old self vastly differs from the person I am today, and I certainly wouldn’t want future employers or friends to see that version of me and connect it to my present self.

It all comes down to the idea that just as with most new technology and ideas, social media’s ambivalent nature lends itself to both the beneficial and detrimental parts of the world. It makes it easier to interact with people across the world to keep in touch with old friends, but it also allows us to latch onto online interactions as a form of intimacy and create a sense of permanency with our online personas. In truth, we have no idea about the larger impact social media has upon the world, but it’s up to us to shape our world purposefully.