A simple walk down the hallway. Students passing on either side.

“Her hair is too messy.”

“His outfit is not put together.”

“They look too angry today.”

The perceived thoughts of others pound inside our heads. And the way we continue our day is often dependent on those thoughts. 

Take that hallway and replace it with a grocery aisle, the sidewalk, or any location for that matter. Anywhere there are people, there are judgments being made, and there are ideas about what others could possibly be thinking. Judgments and thoughts and preconceived notions. The simple truth is that we will never escape them.

But what if I told you that those opinions don’t matter, not now, not ever. 

As humans, we judge. Someone’s hair color, clothing style, friend group, extracurricular activities, skin color, or simply the way  they walk down the hallway causes us to make guesses as to what kind of person they are. And this is due to the stereotypes that our society has created. But the reality is that we don’t know everyone, and we certainly don’t know their truth. 

When our first instinct is to dissect who an individual is based simply on superficial aspects, we miss the opportunity to meet the real human behind the assumptions. We’re so quick to judge, yet so slow to learn the truth as if we assume we already know. 

But here is the reality: those thoughts don’t matter. Are they the truth about someone’s character? Do they define who someone actually is? No. So why do we let them affect us so much? Why do we walk down the hallway feeling like we have to pretend to be someone that everyone wants us to be or manipulate ourselves so that the stereotypical thoughts change? They don’t matter. They’re not our truth. All too often, we care about how others perceive us when they’re not living our life. 

We each have our own truth: the actuality of our character, personality, interests, and the way in which we live. That’s what we must live by, not by the way anyone else believes us to be, wants us to be, or expects us to be. We cannot control whether  someone else wants to take the time to learn the truth. That is on them and only them. All we can do is work to eliminate the judgments and continue to live the way we desire despite any and all outside thoughts that aren’t our own. 

The concept seems elementary almost, but in a world where no one can escape preconceived notions, it must be a reminder. Owning one’s truth has become such a difficult task when it should be our default. We let those who know nothing about that truth dictate it. The fear of being judged holds us back from just being ourselves.  

Silence the others’ judgments. Silence the preconceived notions that may or may not be forming around us. Their weight should be lifted from the shoulders of our truth. They do not have an impact on who we are. We should live each day as who we truly are. We all have a truth. It is time we start focusing on it.