As I blow out the candles on my Dairy Queen ice cream cake with extensive light pink lettering scrawled across and covered in hot pink flowers, it feels like another cold February day. My small yet complete family celebrates a day they have been dreaming of since before I was born. I am surrounded by few but thoughtful presents in an attempt to define this monumental occasion. On this day, February 7, 2023, I became an adult.     

6,570 days of life leading up to this moment where I enter a “new age” filled with responsibility and fears a birthday candle wish can not subside. Yet, I find myself surrounded by celebration and congratulations on making it this far in life. 

In countless films, the 18th birthday is portrayed as life-changing, where characters celebrate their futures and cherish their past. Yet the birthday lights I am illuminated by call more into question than my new adult self can answer.  

For me, 18 is more than an age filled with responsibilities and possible legalities — it is a reflection of my faults and aspirations, all the good and all the bad my life has had. 

While I may only be a year older, these past 18 years have given me a lot to lean on and grow with. From heartbreak and loss to laughing and late-night drives, here are 18 thoughts for 18.

1. Live Life to the Fullest  

It is an obvious first reflection for a moody teen living vicariously through unachievable social standards, but 18 years of life is sure to accumulate many missed opportunities. If there is one thing I could tell a younger version of myself, it would be to follow your heart. Go out every Saturday night, blast the music, and allow yourself to feel every emotion in the books you read. Now, be responsible, but remember you never get those opportunities back, so don’t ask, “What if?”

2. Reach Out Your Hand 

I am all in favor of selfish moments, where you are consumed by desire and blinded by your future, but at this age, we have so much to give back. As we enter an age filled with responsibilities, we must not forget the community that raised us. Be more thankful, and do everything in your power to give back to your community through volunteering or donations to ensure your roots stay strong.

3. Call the People You Love More 

We are our family’s legacy, so pick up the phone and call a loved one. These are the people who raised us, and it is our responsibility to carry on their stories and struggles. If you are feeling lonely, pick up the phone and call your mom, grandparents, or anyone else you haven’t heard from in a while. 

4. Go To Bed Earlier

Having been an angsty, overworked, honors-level student, if I could tell past me anything, it would be to shut down the laptop. The late-night studying, with eyes half-shut, will not salvage your grade. We only live once, and to everyone’s surprise, grades do not define us. 

5. Allow Yourself to Struggle  

Character development comes from life’s biggest struggles. If you don’t allow yourself to fall, you can never begin again. With every mistake and tear from your past, you must use it as fuel to guide you in future stages of life. 

6. Pick Up a Hobby

Play guitar, learn to knit, find a passion that makes your blood rush. As kids, we watched TV shows where teens started bands or formed protests, so when you feel lost in a world filled with so many opportunities, find something that makes you stand out in a crowd. By giving your life purpose, you will never feel alone again. 

7. Be Obnoxiously Loud

Scream so loud no one will ever forget your voice. Another mistake I have in life is not making my opinion known. For too long, I sat in a corner hoping someone would care, but we as humans are responsible for ensuring our own happiness. If you are in a slump, reach out and ask for help. 

8. Make a Frivolous Purchase

It is one of the most indulgent purposes of the 18th birthday. Go ahead and buy yourself that stupid pair of shoes or the dress you may only wear once. We are still young and deserve to feel valued.

9. Look Around 

Time is moving faster than anyone could expect. I still remember being walked down my long gravel driveway to the bus stop with my iCarly backpack flopping behind me, or the announcement made during 9th period on March 13th signaling two weeks off school. It is a little scary how close all those memories feel; however, they are a part of the past, and if we take anything away from all the crying and joy that filled these 18 years, we must remember to let go. We still have so much life to live.

So there it is, halfway through. Nine things in reflection of the amazing 18 years I have experienced. Now, let me take the chance to inspire all the things that are yet to come.

10. Let the Past Guide You

This may refute my earlier claims, but if we become ignorant to our past, we will continue to repeat the mistakes in the future. As I enter this new phase, I still have more questions than answers. I know that at many points in life I will feel down, but I must remind myself that things always get better. 

11. Laugh Like Nobody’s Watching

It’s an obvious wish to not care what people think of you, but the world is filled with people who have no idea who you are. While you may feel like you are standing naked in a crowd, being able to let go of these insecurities will ensure a prosperous future.   

12. Find Strength in Yourself 

Again, it is so scary to realize how unpredictable life can be, but you must reassure yourself that you are fine when you are alone. To become fully happy, you must first accept yourself before you can let another person into your life. So take a road trip alone, have dinner at a restaurant by yourself, and realize life is just as beautiful when you are your only company. 

13. Start a Journal

If the past four years have taught me anything, it is how important it is to remember the small details. Pick up a journal and record every emotion and event in life, so on each birthday you can return to those days and be inspired by the person you were and are still becoming.

14. Be Spontaneous

Again, be responsible, but remember, you only live once. So go out on a school night, get in your car and drive. Life still has a lot in store.

15. Save Your Money

Money is not your most important concern, but it can open door to traveling and other experiences you will want to experience in your adulthood. If you allow yourself to use money frivolously, it will not be there to support you when you need it most.

16. Read More

When we think of basic goals in life, this must be one. It seems so easy to pick up a book and start exploring, but  books are more than words — they can be a guide to some of our deepest questions.

17. Vote

It’s a rite of passage for every American citizen once they blow out the candles on their 18th birthday. If we want to see real change in our adult years, it is our newfound responsibility to participate in American democracy.

18. Be Ready for 19 

It is hard to imagine where and who I may be in 365 days, but I know I will be better because of every crushing pain and exciting event that I have experienced and will experience. With so much at stake and so many opportunities flowing our way, take every day and use it as inspiration.

So there it is: 18 things for 18 years old. Some are regrets, while others are wishes for a life filled with the unexpected. Nonetheless, they all hold the same weight in this new phase.

While this may be a revolutionary birthday for some, we must not forget that we are still teens. We will make mistakes, get lost, find new inspiration, and most of all continue to grow. So while the spark of the birthday candle may burn out, a birthday like 18 will always give way to a new life.