Gran Turismo
In a summer that saw Barbie and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Gran Turismo was the most blatant advertisement I came across. Here’s a game for you: every time a character mentions how great Gran Turismo (the game) is, take a drink of coffee. Twenty minutes into the movie, you’re shaking, and halfway through you’re watching a caffeinated brawl outside the theater—a coffee brawl that is far more riveting than the Gran Turismo movie, might I add. You’re better off watching the speech given before every E3 conference—same point, less time wasted.
Mission Impossible-Dead Reckoning Part One
Mission Impossible-Dead Reckoning Part One is a great film for your dad, who could have totally played college football—he could have, he promises, and your mom, who would be willing to give it all up (join Scientology) to look at Tom Cruise. Truly a film that brings the family together. They can’t wait for the sequel.
Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny
For a franchise that is a cornerstone of American film, Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny was absolutely forgetful. When writing this list, I had to be reminded of seeing it. I don’t have to tell you that this is a bad sign. It’s time to finally give the franchise a rest.
The Flash
Before I say anything, you have to understand: I am a total DC suck up. I’ve watched every single animated series and movie twice, just last year I left Black Adam (2022) thinking that it was good. But, lord, this is not only my limit but beyond my limit, because after seven years of delays The Flash just came out. Morally, I can not recommend this film, and not because the recent criminal allegations hovering around actor Ezra Miller. Instead, this movie is so awful that supporting it financially sends the message that we as a people are okay with Hollywood putting out garbage (or worse garbage than usual).
Oppenheimer
Cillian Murphy gave what is probably my favorite performance of the summer. Never have I seen a man so convincingly play being pathetic so well. I’ve never been more sure of an Oscar nomination in my life. Truly a film that is carried by a single performance.
Barbie
Barbie (2023) makes you feel a certain way. I don’t know how to talk about this eloquently. But you contemplate things after seeing the film. That’s not to say it’s revolutionary or a feminist manifesto. I would say Barbie says the things that women have been saying for years. Just watch it because of how fun it is.
Spider Man: Across the Spider Verse
I saw Spider Man: Across the Spider Verse twice. The first time I had fun. The incredibly engaging action, the beautiful and sometimes bizarre animation, and the well timed comedy captivated me. I couldn’t get enough of it. So that is why I went to see it again, this time alone at 10:00 o’clock at night. Sitting alone in this theater and watching this work of art I started to tear up. At the age of 17, I started to cry at a Spider Man movie. The story of Gwen Stacy is incredibly potent. This is not a Miles Morales movie, but a Spider Gwen story. If you have to watch one Spider Man multiverse story, please don’t make it Spider Man: No Way Home — make it Spider Man: Across the Spider Verse.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
My deepest darkest secret is that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem was my favorite film this summer. I was shaking in my seat, captivated by the animated turtles and Jackie Chan rat. I plan on seeing it next weekend and making it a core part of my identity.
