For as long as I can remember, I’ve always loved to sing. I would use my Razor Scooter as a microphone as I performed my rendition of Demi Lovato and Cher Lloyd’s “Really Don’t Care.” If you look at my family’s video camera, I’m sure you’d find beautiful footage of this scene.
Five years later when I was in 4th grade, I joined my first Choir at Peebles Elementary School. It was there, in that school, that I realized just how much I love to sing. Was I amazing at it? No. But did I love it nonetheless? Absolutely.
5th grade was when I found out what a “musical” was. To 11-year-old Gracie’s knowledge, it was just people singing and dancing on stage for about two hours. Though that definition isn’t technically wrong, there was still so much more to it than I could’ve possibly imagined.
The idea wasn’t totally appealing to me yet, so I decided to do stage crew instead.
I remember it so vividly. It was closing night, and during the last scene, it was my job to place a tree onto the stage before the curtains opened. I guess I got distracted while onstage and didn’t even notice the curtains beginning to rise. So I did the only logical thing I could think of: hid behind the tree during the scene and waited for the curtains to close so I could make my great escape.
While sitting behind that tree, besides “Oh my gosh I’m such an idiot,” there were many more thoughts swirling through my head. As cheesy as it sounds, I had the urge to just jump up from behind the tree and start singing and dancing along with the other actors. I had never seen anything so cool.
Ever since that moment, I dreamt of being on the stage.
Come middle school, that dream came true. I was cast in my first-ever musical: Elf Jr. I will say this first musical was a rather interesting experience, but nonetheless, it only made my love for theater grow more and more as the years went on.
Flash forward to my junior year of high school when our directors announced we were putting on the notorious Phantom of the Opera. At first, I thought it was a joke. I looked at the cast list, saw my name under Christine, and thought “No way.” There was absolutely no chance we were doing this powerhouse of a show. This had to have been a joke.
It was, in fact, not a joke.
After I found out that we were actually about to do this extremely hard musical, I jumped onto it as soon as I could. I got a voice teacher, I listened to the show on repeat, I watched the movie, I did it all. I had the whole show down by the first rehearsal, and thank goodness I did. Otherwise, I would have had to cram what took me four whole months to learn into two months with the addition of school and work.
There were many times when I was able to walk off-stage pleased with my performance. The love and support I received from all my peers truly gave me a good confidence boost. Unfortunately, I can’t say that for all of my performances.
I don’t have enough fingers on my hands to count how many times I would sing and just start crying because I didn’t sound like the 30-year-old classically trained soprano I was constantly comparing myself to. Although I knew these women had much more experience and training, I was still disappointed in myself and felt like I wasn’t living up to them. No one expected me to, except for myself.
Despite all the criticism I was giving myself, I still managed to push through it and play one of my favorite roles I will ever play in my life. Theater is not beautiful all around — there are things that go on backstage that no one sees. Like most things, it takes hard work and extreme effort to make a show as good as it can be.
Theater allows me to express myself in a way I could never imagine. It allowed me to meet some very talented people whom I have the privilege to call my friends. It’s all I want to do with my life. I hope to one day be able to say that I’m doing what I love and calling it a job.
