For years, rumors have swirled about a hidden fourth floor at NASH. Some claimed it was an old storage area, others whispered about a secret faculty lounge. But the truth is finally out—NASH’s fourth floor has been home to exclusive specialty classes for years, and now, due to increased funding, these classes are being made available to all students.

“I honestly thought it was a joke,” said junior Denisse Matos-Perez. “I’ve walked these halls for seven months and never saw any stairs leading to a fourth floor.”

That’s because there is only access to it via one of the elevators. The fourth floor is currently restricted to a select group of students enrolled in invitation-only courses like Astrology, Cybersecurity 2, and AP Italian. This is set to change come the 2025-26 school year.

“I wish I could teach one of the Calc CD classes, but I’m the only AP Stats teacher. Enough kids sign up for that every year. Volpe takes all the BC kids, and Solenday is bogged down with those taking AB,” said Mr. Lester, the AP Statistics teacher.

Teachers from local universities have been brought in to teach these highly specialized subjects.

“I recommended my friend at LaRoche, Dr. Kyle Brown, almost ten years ago, and he’s been teaching CD for two periods every day since,” said Lester.

“No one questions you if you walk confidently in,” said Brown. “It’s been an exhilarating challenge—kind of like an academic speakeasy. Unfortunately, I can’t commit to the full time position for next year. I hope the students like my replacement!”

With the school’s increased budget, administrators have decided to open these courses to the entire student body.

“They hired 13 more faculty to teach 17 new classes that will be available to any students that want to take them,” said Joseph Widjaja, a senior who has been taking classes on the fourth floor since his sophomore year. “It’s time for all students to take advantage of these opportunities that I’m glad to have had.”

Widjaja took AP Calculus BC in 8th grade, AP Statistics in 9th, AP Computer Science and CD in 10th, Linear Algebra (available to all) and Differential Equations (a 4th floor restricted class) in 11th, and now Topology (also on the 4th floor) in 12th.

Senior Santino Scialabba says his current  Calculus CD class with Dr. Brown is rewarding, but he “wishes the College Board offered an AP test for it.”

Bex Codner loves Honors Shakespeare, Axel Standish is sad that Glass Blowing is only coming in 2026-27, too late for him to take it, and Charles Potter is thrilled that Speech and Debate extends into his regular school day now that he takes Advanced Dramatic Interpretation.

Senior Luca Thomas, who stumbled upon the fourth floor while looking for a lost AirPod, said that it was “like discovering a new level in a video game.”

“I was looking forward to being a part of this secret society of sorts,” said Olivia Rodgers, a junior already enrolled in Astrology for next year. “Now that anyone can take these classes, they’ve lost their power on my transcript.”

While many of the 4th floor classes are not Honors or AP, they are marked with an R on transcripts (for Restricted) and count the same as Honors classes when calculating one’s GPA. This will not be the case next year.

Some students remain skeptical despite the presence of stone cold facts.

“I still don’t believe it exists,” said senior Jesse Shields. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

But for those ready to enroll in Algebra 4, Advanced Computer Multimedia Arts 2, Introduction to Thermodynamics, or Astrophysics, course registration opens next week and students are encouraged to switch their current enrollments for these new classes! You can find the updated Program of Studies with the full list of new courses here.

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Editors’ Note: As the dateline suggests, this article is an April Fools’ prank and has no basis whatsoever in actual fact. It is entirely fictitious.