Protips: Jingle All the Way!
Christmas: the most wonderful time of the year. A time of giving and receiving, Santa Baby, because, on the first day of Christmas, all I want is you. Yet between all the decked halls and boughs of holly, the holidays can get confusing. So this year, our gift to you is this special edition of Protips to help you maximize your Christmas spirit. Grab some hot chocolate, settle in, and make sure Grandma isn’t out on the roof when the reindeer arrive.
Protip One: Perfect the many faces of gift receiving.
Ever seen the “Avocado” vine where a little boy gets an avocado for Christmas? He may be adorable, but he hardly has a poker face, and there are many, many gifts that are worse than an avocado. So in the days leading up to Christmas, spend some time in front of a mirror practicing so that you don’t end up hurting someone’s feelings. Try the “surprised but happy face,” the “it’s everything I ever wanted face” and the “I definitely did need this, Grandma, face.” This way, when you open your seventh pack of underwear on Christmas morning, no one other than you will know if you didn’t like it.
The presentation is half of every present, and, while a bag might work in a pinch, nothing can be as satisfying as giving someone a cleanly wrapped box and watching them rip off the paper.
Protip Two: Don’t be afraid to get interesting with your wrapping.
The presentation is half of every present, and, while a bag might work in a pinch, nothing can be as satisfying as giving someone a cleanly wrapped box and watching them rip off the paper. But whether you choose to bag or box, there are dozens of different types of paper, from Harry Potter and Star Wars to Emoji’s and Batman. If you really want to get creative and have a little fun, wrap your gifts in duct tape, or try the classic “box within a box” trick. There is no law saying the gifts’ transport has to be boring, and a funny or meaningful wrapping can take your gift to the next level.
Protip Three: If you’re out of time or out of money, DIY.
Let’s face it, there is always someone on every gift list that gets sidelined or forgotten. You’re “holiday broke” with nothing in the bank and no ideas for what to get Aunt So-And-So or second cousin Insert-Name-Here. But sites like Pinterest were invented for this reason. A quick search can help you come up with ways to make cheap, affordable gifts for a little of your time. There is a lot of love in DIY and a lot of time, so remember it isn’t always the flashy, expensive gifts that can mean the most.
But if you don’t want to lie to the child, give them a hug, and tell them that they are your magic. It’s sweet, sentimental drivel, but every child deserves to believe in Santa Claus.
Protip Four: How to answer the Santa question
It could be a cousin, sibling, or nephew, but eventually, someone under the age of twelve will look up with their massive innocent eyes and ask if you believe in Santa. Obviously, you can’t say no, so you say yes, and the next thing you know, you and everyone else are running a secret operation to keep the child believing. But if you don’t want to lie to the child, give them a hug, and tell them that they are your magic. It’s sweet, sentimental drivel, but every child deserves to believe in Santa Claus. Give them a chance to have that.
Protip Five: Don’t bother trying to sleep in.
Christmas is the one day a year getting out of bed is easy, so don’t waste it. Wake up as early as you (or your family) can and open presents first thing. You can take a nap after gifts and drinking hot chocolate, but there are only so many Christmas mornings — and Christmas noon doesn’t exactly have the same magic.
You never know who is under that beard and fat suit and paying a ridiculous amount of money for a photo with a stranger is not worth it. And honestly, sitting on an old man’s lap is just weird. Period.
Protip Six: Make Christmas cookies.
This is an obvious one. Christmas is not Christmas without cookies, and Santa will only come if there is a nice, healthy platter laid out for him. But if you can’t bake, or the hassle is too much, that was why Pillsbury was invented. Get some pre-packaged dough at the store, grab a couple friends, and blast some Christmas music while you cook. It’s nearly impossible to screw up, and, if nothing else, you will get a fun evening and fresh baked cookies for your trouble.
Protip Seven: Take pictures.
The holidays only come by once a year, so don’t waste your time protesting when your mom wants to get all of you together for a photo. In fact, take some yourself. Not because social media demands it (which it does) but because one day you will want a memory of those moments.
Protip Eight: NEVER sit on Santa’s lap.
Come on, this one is basic. You never know who is under that beard and fat suit and paying a ridiculous amount of money for a photo with a stranger is not worth it. And honestly, sitting on an old man’s lap is just weird. Period. So save some hard-earned money and skip out on Santa this year.
And finally, Protip Nine: Embrace the holiday spirit.
Between buying gifts and stringing lights so that your house looks more festive than your neighbors, it’s easy to lose sight of the meaning of Christmas. But whether or not you are religious or what your family traditions are, take the time to stop, and take a moment to appreciate the holiday season and all it stands for. It’s a time of year to be grateful for the people in your life and spread a little more kindness in the world. Take some time to walk around and see the lights, or watch the Grinch with your loved ones, or talk to a stranger. Spread some Holiday cheer, and give back a little more kindness — because what is Christmas for if not to bring joy?
Merry Christmas,
The Uproar
Rin Swann is a senior at NASH and, in her spare time, she enjoys drinking Peach Snapple, musical theater, and plotting for her inevitable take-over of the modern world. She will be attending the University of Iowa in the fall for creative writing and journalism.
