Freddy is Dead!

One fateful August 25th, Mrs. Failla’s phrenology statue, Freddy, faced his demise.

photo by Kat Klinefelter

The remaining pieces of Freddy, settled on a table in the AP Psychology classroom.

Sunny Li, Staff Writer

On August 25th, tragedy struck in fourth period of Mrs. Failla’s AP Psychology course. Freddy–a porcelain phrenology model of the human cranium–was killed.

Freddy–who was named by Failla herself–was a phrenology bust to help provide context for the lessons taught in the classroom.

“Freddy’s always been in the classroom,” Failla said. “[He was a] part of my class. We talk about phrenology and all these holy theories of the mind. So he was something related to class.”

Despite being a mainstay in Room 356 for 15 years, Freddy’s origins remained–and still remain–surprisingly elusive.

“I don’t know if I ordered him,” Failla said. “I don’t know how I acquired him.”

Regardless of where he came from, Freddy played a pivotal role in both Failla’s teachings and the opinions of her students, among them NASH junior Jayna Cole.

“Freddy was certainly charismatic,” Cole said. “There was a lot of emotion to him and he always stood for facts–even when they were morally questionable. My opinion is neither favorable nor unfavorable.”

While Cole held a more neutral stance, other students welcomed Freddy’s presence.

Junior Sabrina Malkin recounted her first impressions of Freddy, stating that he “looked pretty friendly and approachable.”

As time progressed, she grew to like Freddy, describing him as “pretty cool.”

Unfortunately, everything went bust in 4th period on August 25th.

“I went out of the classroom at the end of the period to make a couple of copies,” Failla recounted. “Students were exiting the room, [and other] students were entering the room. From what I heard–and I don’t know if this is accurate because I was not an eyewitness to the scene–a student in my class turned too quickly and his backpack hit Freddy by mistake as he was entering.”

The accidental maneuver sent Freddy to the floor, smashing him into pieces. When Failla returned to the room, she was left stunned. Shortly afterward, one of her students, who asked not to be named in this story, admitted to the crime. Despite the devastating loss, Failla decided to relieve the culprit of any consequences.

According to Failla, the culprit has already “apologized in a couple different ways” and has even “offered to replace Freddy.” She believes that the incident “was purely an accident, so no charges will be filed.”

But while the perpetrator has been left off the hook, the impact of Freddy’s passing has been felt by the class in different ways.

For Malkin, the atmosphere of AP Psych has changed.

“Now when I sit in Psychology, I remember Freddy and think of how he truly did go out with a bang,” she said. 

Out of respect for Freddy, Malkin posted Freddy’s death scene on her Snapchat with the caption, “RIP FREDDY August 25, 9:47 AM 2022.”

For Cole, the incident has certainly left a lasting mark.

As a “witness,” she “held testament regarding the murder,” describing the scene as “abhorrent.” Since the incident, she has remained “neutral and sober” but believes that Freddy “did not deserve such a fate.”

But in the midst of the mourning, Failla continued to try to maintain a positive mood and learning environment for her class.

“I still miss him. I still wish he was with us, but I will slowly accept that Freddy’s gone, and that life will move on, and continue on,” Failla said. “Class moves on. He was a good friend all these years, and he will be missed.”

With Freddy gone, the lingering question of a possible replacement for the phrenology head looms large. Interestingly enough, Failla has considered the possibility.

Although she believes that it is “impossible to really replace Freddy himself,” she has pondered the idea of finding another “good prop for class.” The only real obstacle  has been “the lack of time at the start of school to put some attention to that.”

However, a few objections have been raised.

Malkin mentioned that she doesn’t “see anything wrong with purchasing another prop,” but only on the condition that the name cannot be Freddy. However, she is open to “Freddy 2.0.”

Cole, on the other hand, does not believe Freddy can truly be replaced.

“There is no price for life,” she said. “Reparations can be made, but replacements can never suffice. We may receive another Freddy, but the real Freddy is dead and lives on only in our hearts.”