“We need to take the roof off of Newman Stadium.”

******

“Coronavirus is real. Senioritis is not.”

******

“In case you’re wondering what that smell is, someone farted and I sprayed perfume.”

******

“You know who’s really hot? Oscar Wilde!”

******

“I feel like you would have a boyfriend.”

******

“Those are fine onions!”

******

“It’s me versus a thousand kids.”

******

“They all get along down in Antarctica.”

******

“She’s such a bot.”

******

“Do not remember, ever, ever, the number 107.”

******

“We were all stuck fly fishing.”

******

“Who reads The Uproar?”

“Old people, I guess?”

******

“Holy cats!”

******

“Embezzlement isn’t all bad.”

******

“I just had a student ask me how many meters are in a stick.”

******

“You’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday.”

“Yeah that’s the point.”

******

“We’re doing ankle taping and I need to get my time down by four minutes.”

******

“Wow, he has really big biceps. I’m gonna follow him on Instagram.”

******

“Really cool, but really bad.”