My eighteenth birthday is within arms reach, and with that comes with a major realization. Despite the ups and downs of my 18 years, each chapter in my life has brought lessons along with them.  From my princess-themed fifth birthday party to my not-so-sweet 16th birthday, every experience has been a lesson in friendship, reality, and the challenges of girlhood.

Here are 18 lessons I’ve learned by 18:

1. Make time for the people you care about.

This might seem obvious, but life has a way of consuming our time with workloads and obstacles that can get in the way of our free time. If you truly care about someone, it should never be a chore to carve out time for them. Don’t make people feel like a burden, and give them your full attention.

2. You shouldn’t worry about what people think of you.

Everyone will have preconceived ideas and opinions about you, but that doesn’t mean they should concern you or consume your mind. Worrying about how people may view you causes so much stress and damages self-worth. Opinions can only be changed by getting to know who a person truly is, and as long as you know who you are, people’s thoughts about you don’t matter.

3. There is grace in apologizing.

Apologizing can be a very difficult thing to do, and admitting that you’re wrong can be even harder. But there is beauty in vulnerability and only you can apologize for the things you have done. Everyone deserves an apology when they have been hurt or offended and admitting that you were the cause of that shows how much you truly care about a person.

4. The views are better above ground.

Sooner or later, everyone will have the same one thought: life is hard. But that doesn’t mean life isn’t worth living. The perspective I have always kept in mind is that the tough moments I go through or the bad days I just experienced are only a miniscule portion of my life. Don’t get me wrong, trying to find the good in a sea of bad can feel like an impossible task. Life will get better with time and there is so much the world has to offer. Find the good in the sunsets outside your window, the music you listen to, and the adventures that await you.

5. It’s OK to make mistakes.

Mistakes are the cornerstone of life and there is no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed when they are made. The best you can do from the mistakes you make is learn from them, improve yourself and don’t let the mistakes you make define you.

6. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Uniqueness is a beautiful thing, and comparing yourself to what you want to be or how you want to look takes away that beauty. Out of the eight billion people on this earth, there is not one person who looks, acts, or feels the same way you do as an individual. If you spend your life concerning yourself with chasing a vision of other people’s uniqueness, the happiness you could have just by embracing your own individuality is lost. Take pride in the person you are.

7. Your circle of friends will shrink.

In high school, you may have a large group of friends, but that group will become smaller once the comfort of school ends. One thing my dad always taught me was that the number of close friends you should allow yourself to have can be counted on one hand. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be friends and acquaintances with other people, but keeping your inner circle small creates better bonds and connections as you grow as a person.

8. It’s not selfish to put yourself first.

Selfishness has always been considered a negative word–and most of the time, being egotistical is a negative action. However, taking care of what your mind and body needs is not a selfish act. There will be times in your life when you need to do what is best for you and enforce your own personal boundaries. It is not selfish to prioritize your needs at certain times, and how you treat yourself is just as important as how you treat the people around you. But it should never become a self-centered action.

9. Regret is worse than rejection.

The saddest question one can ask is “what if?” “What if I had told them how I felt?” “What if I had interviewed for that job?” “What if I had applied to that university?” These are all phrases filled with regret and a longing to know what would have happened if the chance was taken. Rejection is a difficult emotion to handle, but a clichéd phrase I like to keep in mind is “everything happens for a reason,” so why not take the chance? Rejection might hurt, but not as much as regret.

10. Stop hanging out with people who don’t make you feel good.

There will be people you know who just aren’t meant to stay in your life, and that’s ok. It is better to be alone than to spend time with people who make you feel insignificant. Instead, spend time with yourself and do things that emotionally and physically fulfill you in ways those people couldn’t. You will find your people who show you what true friendship is.

11. Perspective is Important.

Perspective is all about how you view a situation, your attitude about it, and your point of view on how things will turn out. One thing I’ve learned is if you go into something with a negative attitude and the thought of failure, you are much less likely to succeed. Your point of view can change so much and believing in yourself and changing your perspective can make bad situations even the tiniest bit better.

12. Complaining will not fix anything.

Complaining about our day-to-days is something many people struggle with constantly, myself included. Arguably, I believe that talking over how you feel is healthy and can be important in letting things go and communicating how you feel, but there is a big difference between a healthy frustration and complaining. Constantly complaining can be an easy way to frustrate ourselves with things we can’t control, no matter how much you complain it won’t be solved without action.

13. There is more than one way to do something.

This is a very important lesson to remember because everyone is so different. If you undertake a challenge in a different way than other people, that doesn’t mean one of you is wrong. There are so many different ways people think and do things and there is nothing wrong with the differences by which people approach these tasks.

14. Don’t take anything for granted.

There are so many important things in life that go unnoticed every day. Holding the door for a stranger, giving a smile to a classmate or coworker, and even an extra-long hug to a parent are all little things that might not mean anything to some, but could be a world of meaning to another. You never realize how important and meaningful something is until it’s gone, so don’t let the little things slip away.

15. Overcome FOMO.

FOMO or fear of missing out is a fear of regret that some people may not realize they have or experience, but it’s more common than you think. The constant thought that if you don’t go to that party or a planned outing with your friends that you are going to miss out on some major life event is haunting. In reality, being hard on yourself for staying in and being alone is no big deal. You miss a few events, but sometimes focusing on yourself and relaxing at home is just what you need.

16. Being vulnerable means taking off the armor.

Vulnerability can be terrifying and in order to be vulnerable, you need to know how. If you don’t mind being vulnerable because you know the person will be kind and loving than that is not vulnerability. Vulnerability is about stepping out of your comfort zone and lowering your shield and going into a situation not knowing how you will be received. Putting yourself out there, even just a little, shows bravery in vulnerability.

17. Respect others’ opinions.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and everyone will have them. That doesn’t necessarily make them wrong or right–they’re only beliefs. Trying to change someone’s opinions is only fighting with their beliefs, and instead of fighting, learn to accept that you can’t change them. You don’t have to agree with others’ beliefs, but respecting what they believe shows that you care for them.

18. Life is too short.

With all these lessons I have learned over the past 18 years, one has stood out above the rest. I have known loss and love, heartbreak and joy, and all these experiences have led me to one conclusion: life is way too short. Life is too short to be angry with a family member over something they have done. Life is too short to tiptoe around when you can stand out and be noticed. Life is too short for you to not tell your people that you love them. The world is wide, and time is short. Go out and make some memories and live every day like it’s your last.