******

“Bro, Halloween was yesterday, take that off.”

******

“Oh my gosh, there’s a bandaid on the ground. I’m gonna eat it.”

******

“I’m studying for The Handmaiden’s Tale.”

“It’s The Handmaid’s Tale.”

“Oh, do you think I’m ready for the test?”

******

“That was my rat, but I didn’t buy it.”

******

“That girl is so sweet. She wouldn’t fart on a butterfly.”

******

“Love who you love unapologetically, but I’m going to give you a lot to apologize for.”

******

“In English, this group was giving a presentation on women’s rights.”

“Pumpkin spice?”

“No, where did you get that?”

******

“Guys, I’m not going to fail my physics test.” 

“Yes, you are.”

******

“’Do not’ is two words but ‘doughnut’ is one word. How?” 

******

“He’s like if you took Pittsburgh and shoved it into a human body.”

******

“I think people look more attractive in old footage because you can’t see all their issues.”

******

“This room smells like Tootsie Rolls. I don’t like that.”

******

“You look like a dry sponge.”

******

“I thought Nelson Mandela was a magician?” 

******

“Why does this book smell like vinegar?” 

“Lemme get a whiff.” 

******

“I like boulders.”

******

“I swear if this is a freaking yogurt I’m gonna cry.” 

******

“He’s kind of like a cat. You have to spray him with water and he’ll do it.”

******

“The neighborhood speed limit is 60.”

******

“I’m actually about to catch on fire.”

“OK, Katniss Everdeen.”

******

“Put the dolphin back in the tank and go to bed.”

******

“You’re such a Kenny.”

******

“If you can’t beat them, make them incredibly uncomfortable.”

******

“If he’s six feet tall, then I’m an NBA player.”

******

“I’m not a religious person, but I did get baptized once. So, I’ll pray for you.”

******

“You all make valid points. Crazy, but valid.”

******

“It smells like my mom yelling at me.” 

******

“His body looks like he works out, his personality does not.” 

******

“Does anyone want beans?”