The Advice is Wrong: Holiday Edition

A gift they’ll savor forever

Connor Foran, Reporter

Dear Uproar, my friends are doing Secret Santa and I don’t know the person I’m buying for well enough. What should I get them? -Secretly Stumped

Zoinks! What a sticky situation! Well, you were right to come to a public advice column where said person could easily see your potential present. Now, you could try to spend time talking to that person, learning things about them, and getting to know what they like so you can make an informed decision when picking out a present, but that would take too much time and energy. If you’re looking for a quick and easy solution, look no further than your own fridge.

Everybody loves getting week-old leftovers for Christmas. Whether it’s a half-eaten slice of pizza haphazardly wrapped in aluminium foil, a tupperware bin of mashed potatoes and meatloaf, or a Ziploc bag of Caesar salad, a tasty treat from the back of the refrigerator will never fail to put a smile on their face. Just imagine their reaction, expecting to unwrap their gift to find some boring old fuzzy socks or some stupid colored pencils, only to behold the moist lasagna you couldn’t finish last Tuesday night. They’ll want to exchange gifts with you every year!

My friend, there is no need to fret or stew when a world of opportunity is just a few steps away from your couch. If you are willing to extend your refrigerated goodies to a friend, there’s no reason they wouldn’t be grateful.