RANTS & RAVES
Lines of People, Lanes of Cars
September 21, 2017
RANTS: Stay to the right, people: do we know what that means? It is physically impossible to travel through the music wing hallway because no one understands that you must stay to the right as you move through the school; this will avoid hallways becoming as clogged as the third-floor bathroom toilets when people shove things in them. Speaking of which…
Stop. Shoving. Things. In. Toilets! When I walk into a bathroom in dire desperation because I have been holding it for two periods, I don’t want to search for a toilet without a milk bottle stuffed in it. And who even does this? Is shoving your hand in a school toilet really that enjoyable? To each their own, I suppose.
Students, can we please park our cars inside the lines? It is a nightmare in both Main and Ghetto because some people decide to park like my grandmother. She’s dead. If you cannot see the lines in the parking lot, you probably shouldn’t be driving the Maserati that your parents bought for you. However, if it’s winter time in the NASH parking lot, then you might get a free pass; no one ever parks in a space during the winter — let’s be honest.
RAVES: October is approaching and you know what that means: Halloween! It’s time to start getting into the creepy and spooky spirit, as well as stuffing our faces with plenty of candy. Pro-Halloween tip: If you are looking for a wide variety of candy for prices lower than you’ll find at Giant Eagle or Target, get your candy at Adzema Prescription Pharmacy off Route 19 past the Ghetto Sheetz!
Also coming soon in October is Homecoming! Boys, prepare the most mediocre puns you can possibly imagine and get yourself a date to the dance! Girls, smile and act like you really love the effort they sunk into their ask and get yourself a date to the dance! Stay safe and have fun!
Our team sports are doing well, I guess.
I know it’s a little early for Christmas, but for those who are familiar with the Elf on a Shelf meme, it’s back, people! In addition to this classic meme, Obama on a Llama, Shrek on a Deck, Drake on a Cake, and many more spin-offs of the old-time classic is available on iFunny, Buzzfeed, and they may be coming to you directly from The Uproar soon!
donovan Rice • Jan 11, 2018 at 9:07 am
Davis this makes perfect sense. The Music wing is always clogged and difficult to move through. Every other area knows to stay to the right, but apparently that area doesn’t.
Zach Penrod • Jan 11, 2018 at 9:04 am
I liked the article, Sometimes the hallways are too crowded. Also think no one should shove trash down the toilet.
Emmy Fickess • Jan 11, 2018 at 9:00 am
I found this article really funny, and very easy to read.
Megan Santini • Jan 11, 2018 at 9:00 am
This article can’t be better said. Trying to walk through the music hallway it literally impossible!! No one understands to stay to the right it is very frustrating.
JT Verbaarschott • Jan 11, 2018 at 8:59 am
Swear! I hate the traffic in the halls. Everyone needs to stay to the right when we are leaving the building. And if your trying to go up the stairs at 2:15 pm then please just wait for a second for the horde to evacuate so you’er not crushed.
Kaeli • Jan 11, 2018 at 8:58 am
I agree with the rant. People need to follow the hallway system its not as hard as you think. I recently got a concussion because a kid wasn’t walking on the correct side and he wasn’t even looking. As he was turning on the left side to go downstairs and he was getting off the stairs. I passed out and don’t remember anything about that day before it happened. It isn’t a hard thing to do to follow the traffic of people on the right side.
Hartle • Jan 11, 2018 at 8:49 am
I love this Rant. it’s amazingly funny and it covers all the topics that are important. Have you thought about covering the swimming unit in gym?