Ladies and gentlemen, THIS IS TEACHER JEOPARDY!

Think twice before dismissing December 22nd as a useless day. Instead, head towards the auditorium during periods 10 and 11 for the first-ever game of Jeopardy played entirely by NASH teachers. Organized by Key Club, the fundraiser assembly features a formidable lineup: Mr. Venezia, Mrs. Volpe, Mr. Tengowski, Mr. Kodenkandeth, Mr. Long, and Mrs. Keats.

The tournament will consist of three games. The first two will be played with three of the six teachers. The two winners of those rounds will advance to the championship round where they will be joined by a third contestant: a top-secret mystery student who will be announced on the day of the game.

These titans of trivia will go head to head in the ultimate test of academic prowess. Who will come out the victor?

In NASH senior Tess Christensen’s opinion, “The mystery student. Definitely.”

Mr. Tengowski is not so sure. “I’m not intimidated by the mystery student,” he said. “I don’t know if there’s any student at NASH right now that could take down one of the six teachers playing.”

As Tengowski’s boast suggests, the competition is fierce. Mrs. Volpe insists her key to winning the game is “having a lot of iron-rich foods for breakfast and studying up on my trivia knowledge.”

Mr Kodenkandeth, however, defines his strategy for success as “pure intimidation.” The elusive Psychology teacher feels his strength in “Vine references” will prove his most useful asset in the game.

Already, rivalries have sprung up among the faculty’s finest. Tengowski states that his goal is to beat Mr. Venezia, who once competed on the actual Jeopardy show before a live studio audience.

“That’s all I want,” Tengowski said. “If I end up with more money than Venezia or in Final Jeopardy, I’m totally fine.”

Win, lose, or draw, each teacher hopes the student body joins them and the Key Club for next Friday’s game to raise funds for Pittsburgh Phillips Elementary School. Tickets are five dollars during all lunch periods next week (seven dollars at the door on Friday afternoon), and all proceeds go directly to purchasing school supplies for the students of Pittsburgh Phillips. After the conclusion of the event, the Key Club will make kits for the students and deliver them early next year to the school.

“At first, we thought that having teachers play Jeopardy would just be a funny idea,” Key Club President Samidha Sane said. “But then we realized that we could really turn it into something far more valuable.”