The Uproar

The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

Strike a Sour Note

Back to Article
Back to Article

The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

photo by Lexie Vincenty

photo by Lexie Vincenty

photo by Lexie Vincenty

Connor Foran, Reporter

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Dear Uproar, there’s a group of kids in lunch who won’t stop making fun of me. What should I do? ~Fed Up

That’s rough. Believe me, though, I’ve been through the same predicament. However, it ended quickly when I realized that intimidation is the easy way out. Here’s a step-by-step rundown of how to go about this:

  1. Get a bucket.
  2. Get lemons.
  3. Put the lemons in the bucket. Make sure the bucket is filled up to the top.
  4. Go to the table where those kids are sitting and slam the bucket down in the middle of the table.
  5. Sit down.
  6. Take a lemon and take a bite out of it. Just go for it. Don’t bother peeling it. Eat the rest of the lemon and repeat until bucket is completely empty.

Those kids are definitely scared of you now. Enjoy your newfound freedom!

About the Writer
Connor Foran, Reporter

Connor Foran is a senior at NASH, an avid wearer of denim jackets, and a proud Bepis enthusiast. He plans to study international studies in college, travel...

3 Comments

3 Responses to “The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.”

  1. Mallory Riley on September 11th, 2018 12:54 pm

    Can I use limes?

  2. Connor Foran on September 12th, 2018 1:27 pm

    no

  3. The Creature on September 13th, 2018 5:03 pm

    Great to see that this column is still running! There is a lot of potential here, Connor, so don’t be afraid to push the envelope. And when I say push, I mean tear that bad boy open, stuff it with witty lines and almost unbearable sarcasm, then shove it on the sight with no regrets. You got this. Can’t wait to read the next one!

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




Navigate Left
  • The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

    Carousel

    The Policy of Pain

  • The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

    Advice

    Scheduling Hysteria

  • The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

    Carousel

    Protips: Valentine’s Day

  • The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

    Carousel

    Pick-Up Lines: The Best of the Worst

  • The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

    Carousel

    Lonely Hearts Club

  • The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

    Carousel

    Struggling for Authenticity

  • The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

    Carousel

    The Freedom Pledge

  • The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

    Carousel

    One Year Later

  • The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

    Editorials

    My Two Cents On Self-Awareness

  • The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.

    Carousel

    No School, No Work

Navigate Right
The Student Voice of North Allegheny Senior High School
The Advice Is Wrong / 1st Ed.