“ Your toe looks like it’s going through an emo phase.”

“What’s the difference between a ham sandwich and cured ham sandwich?”

“Those stairs will be coming to get me next year.”

“How can you possibly need a prescription for senioritis? You’re a junior!”

“You’re cooking up a hard-boiled fart.”

“If I get 124% on the final, I can get an A in the class.”

“Manifest Destiny a 5 on the APUSH Exam.”

“I watched a YouTube video on this unit, so I am basically an expert.”

“I am 90 percent sure my math teacher was born in the 1800s.”

“Grapefruit tastes like an orange someone cast an evil spell on.”

“There’s no one here. I sneezed and it echoed down the hallway.”

“He was so bald he took off his hat and the sun bounced off it.”

“I just got paid yesterday, so now I’m prepared to bribe him for an A.”

“Lunch is the only thing keeping me going.”

“Dude, if procrastination was a required class, you would still put off taking it.”

“She gave me the test, and I handed it right back to her.”

“In terms of apples, how tall are you?”

“You all have tests this week? I have coloring books.”

“Santa would fight the devil.”

“Thought today was Friday. This is devastating.”

“This hallway traffic is worse than real traffic.”

“The assignment is done, just not correctly.”

“I have a test, a quiz, and a breakdown today.”

“ Are you low-key Ethiopian?”

“That clown wig is in the wrong spot.”

“I’m just a carnivore, bro.”

“That’s a thinly sliced meat.”