“ Your toe looks like it’s going through an emo phase.”
“What’s the difference between a ham sandwich and cured ham sandwich?”
“Those stairs will be coming to get me next year.”
“How...
"They should just do all of the year’s evacuation drills in the month of August."
"I’d go to jail but not to school."
"You seem like a 3.3 GPA type of person."
"Girl,...
“She normally ends the lesson early because my class is really stupid.”
“Cardboard and sugar. That’s America.”
“Me and ChatGPT had a long conversation about my car last night.”
“The...
“The toothpaste people are trying to recruit me to their college.”
“I didn’t even know bombastic was a real word.”
“You're just like an alpha wolf.”
“You ruined Joe Biden...
“Why are you looking at my dad?”
“Someone walked by with so much perfume that I can taste it on the tip of my tongue.”
“Does Mr. Downs have a child in the building? I just heard...
“I just don’t want to live in unprecedented times anymore.”
“Siiiing!”
“All science is is saying things like you've known them for a long time and other people are morons.”
“That...
“This class is somewhere in the abyss.”
“I would recommend that you don’t keep talking.”
“Are all the silly backpacks pink?”
“I am not buying a dress from sillyturtle.com!”
“Then...
“Enlarged neck?”
***
“Womp Womp, and move on.”
***
“I advertise myself as ‘not man,’ yet somehow, SOMEHOW, this mediocrity will not let go.”
***
“I’ve never been a...
We are what we eat, so I’m nachos.
***
There’s a saltine on the floor. I'm gonna lick it.
***
Mmmmm, guts.
***
Dude, slow down. It’s 3 miles per hour and you’re going 68.
***
I’d...
******
“Bro, Halloween was yesterday, take that off.”
******
“Oh my gosh, there’s a bandaid on the ground. I’m gonna eat it.”
******
“I’m studying for The Handmaiden’s Tale.”
“It’s...
Special thanks to the Creative Writing class for patrolling the halls to help with the following.
“As a junior, you just need to take it in like a sponge.”
“'Sup, Logan?”
“No.”
“Christian?”
“Are...
"I have croutons in my locker."
"You’d skip Thanksgiving dinner to work at PacSun?"
“You need to start looking at me when you’re on the field.” ~ football...
